Ode to the women in Mi Familia

I am sooo behind on my blogging...sorry.....working on getting caught up. More to come on the long over due Ode to the women in Mi Familia.

The Element of Freedom

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tightly closed in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom...this is the element of freedom ~ Alicia Keys ~

Trying to find my way today...not your normal sarcastic banter!! Stay tuned!

She made me cry...she hates when I cry!!!

Life can be soo short...snuffed out when you least expect it....it is so important to love like there is no tomorrow, never go to bed angry....always, always forgive and be a good friend.

I must share there is this friend I have....more like a sister...quite possibly the other half of my heart...the calm when I am freakishly manic...and always reminding me that I cry too damn much. She is quick to defend my honor and step inbetween me and that which threatens to hurt me. This week she called...she made me cry...and when I cried she wasn't mad, this time she knows I have a damn good reason.

This time, while tears were my only release I sure wish she wouldn't have given me that reason. So as I head into this weekend, with a long drive to Vegas ahead of me I have much to think about...I love her dearly and hope that she and I will grow old together and be forever friends...and when I am ninety she will remind me that I cry too damn much...and she will continue to be my rock and the light...when all I see is darkness.

For now...I need to take the lessons she has taught me and put them to good use with her...for now I am going to be her light in the darkness...because we have to find our way.

I love you friend...I am always your freedom fighter. We can live on hope for a long damn time!!

OCD and Waking up in Vegas

So last night I went OCD....I missed the Divas so I spent the evening cleaning the hell out of my closet...even organized my closet into clothing type and further sorted by color. Guess I had an off day...all I wanted was the girls laying in the bed next to me watching TV. So, I have learned that no matter what happens in my life...no one can give me what they give to me everday. No matter how hard life gets when they are home, it is nothing compared to how I feel when they are gone.

I met someone...watch out now.....the fact that I met him has caused me to release the rest of my line up...it's created havoc nights home alone focusing on that loud silence I mentioned. Ugghhh so he is worth it so I fill my time being OCD...wait that doesn't sound tooo healthy. Seriously though, if I hadn't released my line up, I wouldn't be home, I would be out eating Sushi to my hearts content seeing all the latest movies sucking the marrow out of life so to speak. Not a gambler...yet I am gambling.....and we all know what happens when you wake up in Vegas, please oh please let me beat the odds for just this once!! All or nothing right....ooooh bring the Divas home so I can be myself again!!!

Is a mom still a mom....without her kids....hell ya does a bear $*^$ in the woods

61 days remain til the divas come home, so I bide my time taking in the sun and the yummy beverage...as well as the occasional episode of Hoarders on TLC. I have the quiet nights home ALONE and I have choosen to stare into space and just clear my head. I realize how loud silence is, and am so glad for the loud Divas who will re-invade my home at the end of this long hot summer. And so...I reflect is a mom without her Divas still a mom.....hell ya....it's just that now I am well rested and clear headed. I am having fun meeting new people and re-charging my batteries. Stay tuned........

The Divas Take California...by storm

Thought it would be easier to let them go this time....except I received another diagnosis the night before they left..my poor Little Tiny!! I am still processing the diagnosis and won't disclose it until I am sure we are heading in the right direction. That being said while it was easier to let them go this year the worry can be all consuming once I open that door. So for now this blog won't serve to help anyone else on this same path of ADHD discovery...but it will definitley give you a sneak peak into my mania!! On a bright note at least the ex-husband and I have finally found a way to work together to bring some stability into their lives...if it was ADHD that finally brough peace then thank God for it....I am however not convinced it wasn't the second diagnosis that re-created that bond. Either way for Tiny's sake this is a good thing. Hoping the hard times are behind us and the healing can begin. We are in a great place....FINALLY. So the Divas take CA by storm and I take AZ by storm....collecting as many good people I can along the way and making them a permamnent part of my life...lord knows I can't take this journey alone.

Hoping to share my misadventures with you all as the summer plays itself out...a little comedy goes a long way...then back to being mom...and we all know those stories are my best!!

It's simple THANK YOU

What a wonderful life...today I give thanks to all my faithful supporters. First Cindy Arthur...the teacher that showed me the light and held my hand all the way, Tiny is a successful student now. Mary Lou...the ever so sweet therapist who has offered me tissue after tissue and countless pep talks. Z - the faithful friend...always sensing my frustration she is quick to swoop in and save me from an ADHD meltdown. Lexi who patiently waits for her turn at mommy time, who is generous with her heart even though I know she is hurting. My boss who has let me leave numerous times to settle Tiny at school or jet off to another doc appointment without her support and that of an understanding employer I would have surely lost my job!! Thanks to my mom who is learning that this is something she cannot fix and I know it must be hard, thanks for being willing to learn to listen and not always jump in to fix.

Most of all thanks to Tiny...for having the courage to go to school when the friends are limited!! For letting that little light shine so bright when most don't understand her!!

The road ahead is not going to be easy...but thanks to all of you we are going to be just fine!!

ADHD and a Rabid Diva...Oh My!!!

Tiny started her new medication yesterday, in fact it was her first time swallowing a pill and she did it on the first try!! I have to celebrate the small victories or I will surely go mad.

Then, this morning,,,,she literally foamed at the mouth!! I should have taken a picture, because while she had me in tears by the time I left for work, now I look back and it is just another memorable moment in my happy little life. Glass of milk in hand, pill in mouth she refused to swallow....not sure of the thought process but she certainly got the milk down but tucked that pill under her tounge and refused to swallow it. A few minutes later I look over and she has white foam coming from her mouth, she looked less like my beautiful diva and more like a rabid dog. The look on her face showed she was either going to vomit or take me out. In the end she swallowed the milk and the foam and by the time she hit the gates at school she was peaceful diva and not rabid diva. While I am able to make this all sound funny...it truly is heartbreaking!!

Everyday the same struggle it is like the movie Groundhog's day!! She is glad she takes her medication but every morning she refuses. And while I cried my way to work, heartbroken she must start her day with adversity, I am thankful to have a child with so much charisma and wouldn't trade her and her foaming mouth for any other child.

Single, struggling, frazzled and loving the hell out of my life..oh my!!!